Father Knows Best: Or Does He?

June 17, 2012

Father Knows Best: or Does He?

By: Monica Macha

Fathers have a mystical presence of power surrounding them.  They are born with the warrior and the knight archetype.  It is their birthright. Lurking in the background of this powerful birthright is the playful boy.

Hidden in the playful boy is a heart filled deep with sensitivity and romance.

I love learning about men.  I treasure the analogy of the warrior and the knight, because it gives me insight into the behaviors of the men I adore.

When I pay attention, and listen to the men in my life I receive glimpses into their complexity.  This complexity is comprised of their mystical power, playful boy, and sensitive man.

I endured the unbearable loss of my own father at the age of 10.  This loss shattered the framework of my safety, and my trust in the male archetype. The event surrounding my father’s death is violent.  The violence of his death lingers in a surreal reality left in the recess of my mind.

It took many years for me to heal the damage in my own psyche about men, if I could trust them, and if I could trust my own feelings about them.  It took marrying “my dad” and losing him again, for me to alter my perspective on loving men, and loving me.  I healed my heart through faith and hard work.

In God’s great wisdom I am blessed with two exceptional males who are still boys, with one on the cusp of entering manhood.  They teach me daily about the male archetype, the glory of its gift, and the weight of its responsibility.  I remain wary of the grown men I have loved.  I continue to love them, as I love me with an open heart, and a spirit of admiration.  

I struggle with men who have not been initiated into the rights of manhood.  The initiation of a boy into manhood through the experience of healthy male role models in their lives is imperative. This age old initiation impacts their ability to enter fully into themselves, and the relationships they will experience throughout their lives.

This made me question my fathers, father, whom I did not care for or trust as a child. It made me question my ex-husbands father whom I did not care for or trust, as a grown woman.  The irony between these two unrelated men is the experience of their lives.  The similarity in their destructive psychological pain, exhibited in the external destruction of themselves and their families.

I choose to honor my ex-husband and the other grown men in my life, who were not fully initiated into manhood by a healthy father, coach, minister, or relative.  I want my feminine energy to be a balm of love for them.  I remain diligent in my quest to raise my sons to be exceptional and fully matriculated men.

I remain diligent in the journey of self-love, so that I might create and attract a healthy exceptional man to share my flight with.

Monica Macha.